Signs That You May Have Suffered a Traumatic Loss
Trauma is in the eye of the beholder. Because this is paradoxically true, any of us can suffer a traumatic loss without understanding its potential long-term impact. Yes, of course, we will mourn. We will feel intense sadness and need time to resolve our pain. But how many of us will recognize that we are struggling with a complicated form of grief?
For the sake of this post, we’ll focus on the traumatic loss of a loved one. Such an experience is far from rare, yet so many of us get stuck in the bereavement process. It can feel like the loneliness is here to stay.
What Is It About Traumatic Loss?
All losses are hard to handle. Sudden, traumatic loss, however, can leave a person intensely struggling for reasons like:
- The unexpected nature of the loss
- The loss involved violence, suicide, accident, or criminality
- Witnessing the death
- You may believe you had the potential to prevent it
- Sometimes, you have to make difficult medical decisions for someone else
- Survivor’s guilt
- Someone may blame you for the loss
On top of this, a loss can become traumatic when you’ve experienced previous traumas or if you lack support from others in your life.
Common Signs of Traumatic Loss
These will be similar to the symptoms of any type of traumatic event. For example, denial, nightmares, flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, hyper-vigilance, and dissociation are frequent results — along with physical problems that otherwise have no clear explanation. Below, we’ll explore a few more extreme trends.
Deeper Signs That You May Have Suffered a Traumatic Loss
- Blaming Yourself: There doesn’t have to be a shred of evidence to support this mindset for a survivor to feel this way. The cuts are so deep that you’re struggling for an explanation. Unfortunately, you may imagine that you didn’t do “enough” to keep your loved one safe.
- Angry Outbursts: Your life has changed. A person you love is gone. Understandably, you’re angry. People who have been traumatized often communicate their fear and anxiety via anger.
- Confusion: A sudden loss highlights the uncertainty of life. It can leave you feeling untethered in a way that defies security. You lose confidence, faith, and hope. If you fixate on discerning meaning from something random, the grieving period can become complicated.
Coping with Traumatic Losses
Practice Acceptance
Yes, you can file this under “easier said than done.” But it’s non-negotiable. How you do it will, of course, be an expression of your needs, but until the loss is accepted, it can be difficult to move into a place of healing.
Feel What You Need to Feel
Part of the acceptance process involves acknowledging and processing your emotions. It’s tempting to suppress sorrow, but when you permit yourself to feel it, you will find that those emotions will become more manageable. If part of the emotional roller coaster includes a large dose of guilt, working with a therapist is a giant step toward forgiving yourself.
Connect With Others
Grief is not a solo act. As much as you want to hide away, you need human contact to recover. It can start with online support groups, but at some point, you must connect with others in person.
Control What You Can Control
Your life — and the world — feels out of control. So, take the small steps you can to reclaim some of that control. Daily self-care is an ideal way to feel certain about a few things each day.
Getting the Help You Need
Therapists at Wellness Matters specialize in dealing with issues of loss. Feel free to contact us today to set up an appointment. You can connect with the Wellness Matters Intake Coordinator by texting or calling (218) 616-1276
At Wellness Matters, the intake process is all on-line and can be done in less than fifteen minutes. On-line appointments make it possible to attend appointments from the comfort from your home or office. In-person services may also be available for people living in northern MN.
