Blended Family Red Flags
Blended families are often a great thing. Bringing two families together can work very well if everyone is on the same page and willing to work together to become one. However, that doesn’t mean it’s always smooth sailing. Blending two families isn’t something that will happen overnight, and you’re bound to face some challenges along the way. But, experiencing the occasional challenge is normal. Dealing with toxicity is something bigger.
If you’re living in a blended family, it’s important to look out for certain red flags so you can deal with them as quickly as possible. Let’s take a look at some common issues that blended families face, so you can tackle toxicity head-on and foster a healthy, loving, equal environment for everyone.
Your Partner Doesn’t Spend Time With Their Children
It’s important to pay attention to how your partner treats their children. Ideally, you’ll pick up on this before you get married. However, it’s just as essential to keep track of after you tie the knot. Do they go to parent-teacher conferences? Are they at every baseball game or piano recital? Do they pick their kids up from school? Most importantly, do they genuinely seem interested in their children’s lives? If not, they’re likely not going to treat your children any differently. Blended families work best when everyone is treated similarly, but that doesn’t mean one partner is the only one taking care of the kids and giving them attention.
Your Partner Only Focuses On Their Kids
Alternatively, if your partner only seems to be spending time with their children or paying attention to what’s going on in their kids’ lives, it could create a lot of turmoil. Your kids could feel left out and unloved, no matter how much you care for them. Your partner might not realize what they’re doing. You could even end up paying more attention to your kids than theirs, too. It’s natural at first, but something to notice and work toward changing as quickly as possible.
There Are No Ground Rules
Do you and your partner have boundaries and rules in place for your family? Do you care how your partner disciplines your kids and vice-versa? Saying “I don’t care” when it comes to certain things because you trust your partner might seem like a good idea, but it can end up doing more harm than good. It’s always better to have rules and expectations in place. If you don’t, you run the risk of either offending someone in your family or crossing a line you didn’t know existed.
There Is Jealousy in the Relationship
It’s more common than you might think for couples in blended families to experience jealousy. When one person prioritizes the children, the other partner might become jealous of those relationships. If your partner complains you give the kids more attention than them, or if they never want to talk about the children and want to keep the focus on them, it’s a big problem. It could end up creating a lot of discord within your family and your relationship.
There are plenty of other toxic issues blended families can face. The most important thing is to recognize them quickly. When you start to notice red flags, you can either put a stop to them or admit to yourself that things aren’t working.
If you’re worried your blended family is on shaky ground, or some of these red flags sound familiar, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Contact me for more information or to set up an appointment. Your relationship doesn’t have to fail as long as everyone is willing to work together to overcome these issues.
Therapists at Wellness Matters can help you sort out whether or not you are possibly dealing with issues that are concerning and what your options might be. Feel free to contact us today to set up an appointment. You can connect with the Wellness Matters Intake Coordinator by texting or calling (218) 616-1276
At Wellness Matters, the intake process is all on-line and can be done in less than fifteen minutes. On-line appointments make it possible to attend appointments from the comfort from your home or office. In-person services may also be available for people living in northern MN.
