How to Overcome Complicated Grief After Divorce
Even when you know a divorce is the right thing, it’s never easy to go through that experience. No one gets married assuming things will end one day. Unfortunately, it happens far too often, and whether your marriage was mostly good, rocky from day one, or had many ups and downs along the way, a divorce is still a loss.
It’s normal to grieve losses.
Complicated grief, however, might be more difficult to overcome because it often feels more intense.
Let’s take a closer look at what complicated grief is and how to overcome it after going through a divorce.
What Is Complicated Grief?
Complicated grief occurs when you experience long-lasting symptoms that make it feel nearly impossible to move forward with your life.
Many people associate grief with death. But it can occur when you experience any kind of loss, including getting fired from a job, moving across the country, or getting a divorce.
Complicated grief can cause a lot of pain. You might have a hard time accepting the loss, or you might blame yourself for what happened. Again, no one gets married assuming things are going to end. So, even if getting a divorce was best for your well-being, it’s still a major loss. If you were married for a long time, complicated grief can be even more of a risk. You might wonder what your purpose is now, or if you can even recover your own sense of identity after being linked to one person for so long.
Acknowledge Your Emotions
The first step in overcoming complicated grief is to acknowledge it. Don’t assume you have to “get over” your feelings. There’s no timeline when it comes to this kind of grief. Give yourself time to cry and experience pain. By allowing yourself that time and grace, you’re likely to process things in a healthier way rather than trying to rush forward before you’re ready.
Giving yourself time to acknowledge your emotions also lets you process memories.
It’s not uncommon for people dealing with complicated grief to avoid triggers. That includes the memories that caused the grief. But reflecting on your experience can give you the opportunity to identify negative thought patterns that might have you feeling stuck.
Practice Self-Care
Grief often feels overwhelming. You might want nothing more than to stay in bed and ignore the outside world. But that will likely make your symptoms worse.
Instead, try to prioritize daily self-care practices. Adopt a healthy sleep routine, eat nutritious foods, and exercise every day. These simple changes can really give your mental health a boost.
Things like mindfulness, meditation, and journaling are also great self-care practices that can keep you grounded in the present and focused on reality. A journal can also help you adopt an attitude of gratitude, and serve as a way to track how far you’ve come.
Lean On Your Support System
Though it might be tempting to withdraw from the people and things you love, they’re so important to your complicated grief recovery.
It can also help to join a support group of other people going through complicated grief. It’s easy to assume you’re alone and no one understands what you’re feeling. Hearing from others who have experienced similar things can offer a sense of hope and motivation.
Don’t hesitate to lean into the people in your inner circle. It’s okay to talk about your feelings or to allow them to serve as a shoulder to cry on. Sometimes, just getting out of the house for a few hours with friends or family can help you feel better.
Wellness Matters has therapists who have worked with many people to overcome complicated grief after divorce, reach out to a mental health professional.
At Wellness Matters, we specialize in working with people dealing with grief and loss! Feel free to contact us today to set up an appointment.
At Wellness Matters, the intake process is all on-line and can be done in less than fifteen minutes. On-line appointments make it possible to attend appointments from the comfort from your home or office. In-person services may also be available for people living in northern MN.
