Disagree Without Hurting Relationships
Disagreements are bound to happen no matter what type of relationship you have, when you meet, or how perfect you are for one another. You could be two peas in a pod, the peanut butter to their jelly, or one another’s perfect match.
Despite all of this, you’re also two completely different people. No matter how well you get along or have similar interests, you won’t possibly agree on everything and anything in life. But disagreements don’t mean that you aren’t just as good for one another or that your relationship is failing.
When couples can work together to problem-solve and overcome issues in their relationship in a healthy way, it improves their communication. It strengthens the bond that they share together. This is how to navigate disagreements without hurting your relationship.
Put Yourself in Your Partner’s Shoes
When you strongly believe in something, it can be difficult to see where someone else is coming from if they share an opposing view from you. But it’s important to try to at least see their side or point of view.
Try to put yourself in your partner’s shoes so that you have a better idea of why they may be thinking or feeling a certain way. Take yourself out of it. They’re not trying to actively disagree with you, just like you’re not trying to do the same to them. Seeing where one another is coming from can help you get on the same page and even find compromise with one another.
Actively Listen
Communication involves both speaking and listening. When you’re trying to prove a point, it can be easy to want to talk without listening. You have to make sure that both you and your partner have a chance to speak up and a chance to listen to one another.
Make sure you’re both practicing active listening. This means that you’re not thinking of what you’re going to say next while they’re talking to you. You should be turning off any and all distractions. Lean in and give them eye contact. Show them that you’re fully engaged and tuned into what they’re saying to you. Make sure you’re not interrupting them, and when they’re done speaking, you can ask any clarifying questions to ensure you’re on the same page.
Be Mindful of Your Words
Make sure you think before you speak, especially when you’re involved in a heated debate or discussion. It can be easy to let your emotions take control. Instead, think before you speak and be mindful of the words that you’re choosing to use. Use “I” statements over “you” statements. “I” statements help your partner see things from your perspective, while “you” statements can make them feel like you’re playing the blame game and that they have to jump into defense mode.
Take a Break
Make sure you know when it’s time to take a break. This doesn’t mean breaking up with one another and ending your relationship. It means taking time to take a step away and return to a more calm state of mind instead of letting tempers flare and causing more chaos or worsening problems. If you and your partner are getting to a point where you’re not able to have a logical or reasonable conversation without raising voices or throwing emotions into the mix, take a step back and plan on talking again later.
Seek Additional Support
At Wellness Matters, we specialize in relationship building and have therapists who can help! Feel free to contact us today to set up an appointment. You can connect with the Wellness Matters Intake Coordinator by texting or calling (218) 616-1276
At Wellness Matters, the intake process is all on-line and can be done in less than fifteen minutes. On-line appointments make it possible to attend appointments from the comfort from your home or office. In-person services may also be available for people living in northern MN.
