Supporting a Child Who Has Experienced Trauma
A post like this is far more relevant than you might imagine. At least two-thirds of children will endure at least one traumatic event by the time they turn 16. This includes infants. In other words, during the years when we most need to feel safe, most kids don’t. The aftermath and long-term impact are life-altering, but they can be addressed through diligent trauma-based therapy.
Considering the scope of childhood trauma, there’s a reasonable chance you’ll be charged with supporting a child trying to recover. While this might understandably sound like a major challenge, there’s an abundance of solid, useful guidance available to you. Let’s examine some of that guidance now.
Common Examples of Childhood Trauma
Trauma is often in the eye of the beholder. Still, there are some universal causes like:
- Physical, emotional, and sexual abuse
- Neglect and abandonment
- Loss of a loved one through death, divorce, incarceration, etc.
- Going through an illness, injury, or disability
- Living in a home that exposes a child to substance use, domestic violence, poverty, mental illness, and more
- Natural disasters, accidents, crime, and life in a war zone
The list goes on, but it should be clear that this is far more than a child can handle. They lack the cognition and language skills to understand or express their pain. Such a survivor will need plenty of help and support. How do we do the right thing for them regardless of their age?
Supporting a Child of Any Age Who Has Experienced Trauma
Ages 0-2
Make no mistake, your infant feels your emotions and craves security from their caretakers. Thus, regardless of the scenario, you’ll want to stay calm when you’re around them. While you will likely need to tend to your own recovery, when you’re with your baby:
- Be a reliable caregiver
- Make eye contact
- Smile at them
- If you’re breastfeeding, continue doing so
- Show physical affection
- Speak in a slow, calm, soothing tone of voice
Ages 2-5
By this age range, a traumatized child will express their emotions about it in some way. They may shut down and/or act out. They may show more fear, become easily startled and clingy, or revert to behaviors like bed-wetting. Unlike younger children, you can support kids in this age range in more palpable, practical ways, for example:
- Giving them space to talk if they want to
- Keeping up with normal daily routines
- Actively make them feel safe via hugging and focusing on positive experiences
- Supporting them at bedtime
- Using art and playtime to help them express emotions
Ages 6-11
Children of this age can understand so much more, and that can manifest in some tough emotions and reactions. Like the group above, you’ll want to be available to listen while prioritizing a home environment of safety and security. You’ll be straddling a fine line here.
At times, traumatized children between 6 and 11 may desire to be nurtured and coddled as if they were younger. In a flash, however, the last thing they want is to feel babied. Follow their lead to some degree, but remember, you’re the anchor, and the onus is on you to establish a safe space.
Ages 12-18
Your responses here will be as much based on your child’s distinct personality as on their age. Find a balance between honoring their burgeoning adult-ness while recognizing that you’re the adult in the room. Consider helping them find a peer support group to help them feel more comfortable opening up. In the meantime, do all you can to reduce power struggles in the home.
There is no magic formula for a dramatic scenario like this. Trauma Informed Therapy is a proven option, and it can be reassuring to reach out and connect with an experienced professional. Feel free to contact Wellness Matters today to set up an appointment. You can connect with the Wellness Matters Intake Coordinator by texting or calling (218) 616-1276
At Wellness Matters, the intake process is all on-line and can be done in less than fifteen minutes. On-line appointments make it possible to attend appointments from the comfort from your home or office. In-person services may also be available for people living in northern MN.
