How to Rebuild Trust in a Christian Marriage
A healthy marriage requires trust—that’s true of any relationship. But, when you’ve chosen, as a couple, to place God at the center of your marriage, somehow, trust holds more weight. You’ve committed to yourself, your partner, and life in Christ, and when trust is broken, it can feel like every aspect of your relationship gets shattered along with it.
Whether your spouse kept a secret from you, lied about something, or was unfaithful within your marriage, trust breaks easily and can be difficult to rebuild.
However, as Christ’s followers, you hold an advantage. Being a Christian doesn’t mean your marriage will be perfect. We are all still sinners and fall short of the glory of God. But, by leaning into your faith when trust is broken, you can rebuild, repair, and restore your marriage.
Practice Forgiveness
Being able to forgive your spouse is something that should be prioritized in any marriage. But, it’s especially important as Christians. Christ calls us to forgive each other, and how can we not, considering what He did to forgive us of our sins?
Of course, the idea of forgiveness is often easier said than done. That’s especially true when you feel such deep hurt and betrayal.
But keep in mind that forgiveness doesn’t let your spouse off the hook. They still have to deal with their own guilt, and they must atone for their sins—but not to you. When you choose to forgive them, you’re really letting yourself off the hook. You’re giving yourself permission to let go, to move on, and to heal. You’re also telling your spouse that you’re willing to start rebuilding your marriage without holding anything against them.
Be Open and Honest
Communication is essential when it comes to restoring a marriage. If you’re the person who broke your spouse’s trust, be open and honest about everything. Don’t keep anything else hidden. You’ll feel better about sharing the whole truth. But, don’t simply make a confession and then go silent again.
Instead, keep the lines of communication open and strong within your marriage. It will help you both to grow closer again. Talk about your feelings, needs, wants, and everything in between. Each conversation can serve as a building block to repair what was broken. The more openly you communicate, the less likely you’ll be to break trust in the future.
Lean Into Your Faith
When trust is broken in your marriage, it can cause you to stumble in your faith. After all, why would God let such a thing happen? It’s a question people tend to ask whenever “bad” things happen in their lives, but the answer is simple—we live in a fallen world.
Now isn’t the time to turn away from your faith, it’s time to lean into it. Find comfort and hope in the Word. Let it be your source of stability when the world around you feels like it’s falling apart.
Talk to Someone
As important as it is to dive into the Word, talking to someone of faith who can help you as an individual and as a couple can be just as helpful. Working with a trusted mentor can be a great place to start.
It can also be beneficial to talk to a Christian therapist or counselor. They’ll help you start to rebuild trust in your marriage using principles of wellness that are also rooted in Christ, using a Biblical perspective to restore what was broken.
If you’re feeling lost because the trust in your marriage has been broken, understand you’re not alone. Feel free to contact me to set up an appointment, and don’t lose hope that things can be restored.
If you’re struggling with relationship issues, getting more support even just for yourself can be helpful. Please consider accessing services at Wellness Matters where we have faith-based therapists. At Wellness Matters, the intake process is all on-line and can be done in less than an hour. On-line appointments make it possible to attend appointments from the comfort from your home or office. In-person services may also be available for persons living in northern MN.
To see if one of our faith-based therapists might be a good fit for your wants or needs, please check out the “About Us” tab. You can connect with the Wellness Matters Intake Coordinator by texting or calling 218-616-1276.
