Overcoming Insecurity: Tools for Healing and Strengthening Relationships
Insecurity can affect nearly every area of your life. It can hinder a successful career, prevent you from saying what you want in social settings, and directly impact the relationships in your life.
Most importantly, insecurity affects how you see yourself. If you allow feelings of insecurity to grow without challenging them, you might start to question your value and self-worth, and it will be much harder to heal over time.
Thankfully, by addressing your insecurity issues, you can start using the tools for healing and strengthening relationships to your advantage. Let’s take a closer look at some of those tools and how you can use them to overcome insecurity for good.
What Causes Insecurity?
There are many reasons why you might have developed insecurity issues over the years. Some can stem from childhood. If you experienced bullying, trauma, or other negative experiences with caregivers, you could have started to feel secure at an early age.
Other possible factors include traumatic experiences throughout life, mental health issues like anxiety, perfectionism, fear of abandonment, or comparing yourself to others.
Some people even develop insecurity issues because of relationships. You might think you’re not good enough for your partner, or you might struggle with jealousy or worry that they’re going to leave you. As you might expect, those thoughts often lead to unhealthy relationship dynamics.
While understanding where your insecurity stems from isn’t always fun, it’s often a necessary first step in the healing process.
Everyone wants to fit in and be accepted, especially by those close to us. Even if you’re surrounded by people who already care about you, dealing with your own insecurity will strengthen your relationships and help you feel better about your role in each one. So, how can you do that?
Stay in the Moment
Mindfulness is a great way to start healing from insecurity. Negative self-talk and self-esteem issues often come from the “what ifs” of life. That can impact your relationships, too.
Do you ever find yourself wondering what people really think of you? Do you worry about your partner moving on with someone else, or your friends going out to have fun without you?
Mindfulness is the practice of staying grounded in the present. Take slow, deep breaths and concentrate on the world around you right now. Thoughts will continue to come, but let them pass you by. The more you’re able to ground yourself now, the less stressed you’ll be. It will also make it easier to see the reality of a situation, rather than focusing on the potential negatives.
Practice Self-Care
Insecurity can cause a lack of self-compassion. But, you’re worthy of kindness.
What would you do if a close friend or loved one happened to be dealing with insecurity? You would likely try to comfort them, build them up, and help them realize they are worthy of love and healthy relationships.
Don’t hesitate to do the same for yourself.
Engage in daily self-care practices like exercising, journaling, and meditation. Spend time with people who build you up and make you feel good, and prioritize the things that promote your well-being.
Give Yourself Affirmation
When you choose to believe in yourself, you won’t need as much praise from others. Think about your strengths and the unique things about you that make you great. Consider writing those things down every day or keeping a gratitude journal. Adopting a daily mantra can also make a difference.
The more you try to build yourself up, the less dependent you’ll become on others, so you can focus on strengthening your relationships rather than taking something from them.
At Wellness Matters, we have therapists who can help! Feel free to contact us today to set up an appointment. You can connect with the Wellness Matters Intake Coordinator by texting or calling
At Wellness Matters, the intake process is all on-line and can be done in less than fifteen minutes. On-line appointments make it possible to attend appointments from the comfort from your home or office. In-person services may also be available for people living in northern MN.
