What is Helicopter Parenting & How Can You Avoid It?
As a parent, you want to be there for your child every step of the way. You want to keep them safe, make sure they’re taking care of themselves, and limit as many risks for them as possible.
But that can end up being a slippery slope if you’re not careful. There’s a great line in the 2003 Disney film ‘Finding Nemo.’ One of the characters, Marlin, promises his son he will never let anything happen to him. Upon hearing this, another character, Dory, responds, “That’s a funny thing to promise. If you don’t let anything happen to him, then nothing will happen to him.”
This quote summarizes the effects of helicopter parenting. It’s okay to be protective of your kids, but it’s important to recognize when you’re doing too much.
With that in mind, let’s take a closer look at what helicopter parenting is and how you can avoid it.
What Is Helicopter Parenting?
Helicopter parenting is a type of parenting style that includes excessive control over your child’s life. Like a helicopter, you’re always “floating” around your child, involving yourself in everything they do.
Most helicopter parents start off with the best of intentions. You might want to protect your child from harm or ensure they’ll be okay. But it can quickly become overbearing if your guidance and protection keep them from learning, growing, and experiencing things on their own.
Helicopter parents aren’t just observers. They often take guidance to the extreme by answering questions for their child, solving problems for them, and completely eliminating as many risks from their lives as possible so they don’t get hurt or experience failure.
What Are the Characteristics of Helicopter Parenting?
Over-involvement is one of the key characteristics of helicopter parenting. That includes inserting yourself in everything from your child’s homework and school projects to their hobbies, extracurricular activities, and even their friendships.
Over-protectiveness is another clear sign of this parenting approach. Not only are helicopter parents likely to go to great lengths to keep their child from getting hurt or failing, but they’ll often try to control nearly everything about their child’s life. That includes activities and decision-making that could potentially dictate a child’s future.
What Are the Consequences?
While you might think you’re protecting your child and doing the right thing by hovering, taking things to extremes can have lasting consequences on your child and your relationship with them.
Helicopter parenting can reduce a child’s independence and cause them to struggle with healthy relationship development now and in the future. It also makes children less self-reliant. They might need others to do things for them, and they might find it difficult to solve problems on their own.
Because many helicopter parents have high expectations for their kids, it’s also not uncommon for those children to deal with stress and anxiety as they face constant pressure.
How to Avoid Helicopter ParentingIt’s not a bad thing to be an involved parent. However, you have to know when to step back before you cross a line.
Give your child space and independence, and gradually increase it over time as they get older. Trust them and their abilities, and focus on their individual growth. Don’t let your own fears and concerns dictate your child’s life.
Most importantly, foster an environment of open communication. Let your child know they can come to you for anything and offer your support, but be an active listener regarding their point of view.
Wellness Matters as a Resource
If you find that you are struggling with parenting, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Wellness Matters has therapists who specialize in parenting strategies. Feel free to contact us today to set up an appointment. You can connect with the Wellness Matters Intake Coordinator by texting or calling 218-616-1276.
At Wellness Matters, the intake process is all on-line and can be done in less than fifteen minutes. On-line appointments make it possible to attend appointments from the comfort from your home or office. In-person services may also be available for people living in northern MN.
